I once was blind...maybe should've stayed that way

Fair warning: I'm slightly tipsy so sentence structure and niceties may not exist.  Proceed with caution.

My running...I'm a fat kid. No excuses. No pity. Fact.  And I have Asthma. It was much worse when I was younger.  I used to wrestle and during one practice it acted up...I went to the ER and they chest stabbed me with adrenaline.  That was one of two times.  When it gets real hot or cold or humid I'm screwed.  But I'm not bright so I do it anyway.

Well, that mile in high school, I'll never forget it.  The entire class...I mean ENTIRE class cheering me on ie waiting for me to cross the line so we could move on to 5th period history.

So imagine my surprise.  Wait, go back.  My mom is a single mother of two sons and...well a bad man decision maker, but she's Lancaster County true blue...works sun down to sun down. Farmer's daughter.  Anything to keep the roof.  So when she worked I developed a relationship with the neighbors.  So much so that after the first 6 years my friends just started calling them the second family.  

Aaand then the second family fell apart.  Divorce.  The second mom started working out like a fiend and I started trying to run with her...and I could. Not fast or long, but my breathing had seemed to subside in my 20's.  She signed up for a 5k I said fuck it, but too late...luck be a lady though her son Kyle, my now brother, didn't want to run it so I took his spot...and thanks to a name mix up I got 2nd in girls 19-24. Still a family laugh...at any rate that's the start of my running. 

So years down the road and various piss poor 5k's I get married.  My (ex)wife is a founder of the Dutchland Rollers and boyfriends/husbands are called widows due to the amount of time the girls spend on it.  Sooo anyway, I thought distance running would be a good way to fill my time while she was at practice...given the previous paragraphs you should be thinking "idiot you gon' die"! But I took to it.

I signed up for the DE Half Marathon cause I didn't know much except it's close and flat.  I finished, despite nerves and a 1/2" of rain during the first 6 miles. I finished. I teared up. 

And I think I signed up for the Goofy Challenge shortly there after. The Goofy is in Walt Disney World. It's a half 13.1 miles on Sat and a full 26.2 on Sunday 39.3 miles in two days. 

Which leads me back to the title. I just had such blind faith in myself. I knew I wouldn't do well, but I would finish.  That got lost.  Maybe during the hard times of the marriage or the divorce. Whatever. I miss my ahhh fuck it attitude.  I won't win, but I can finish...ANYTHING! 

Gotta get that mindset back cause I have at least one 50k in my 2014 future!